2016-12-21

I AM STILL ALIVE ((RAMBLE))

It's been a month since I've posted last. I've promised myself not to say sorry, but sorry. I promised myself not to say sorry, because I shouldn't be sorry, I do this as a hobby, not a thing I should feel pressured to do, that's not what I want because then I'm not going to be happy with the stuff that I'm doing.
December is a busy month, and it certainly is for me as well. I have been working a lot, both at work and in school. I have been drowning in assignments, - but now I'm on christmas break, YAY. But I've also been together with friends after school, and when I come home i have to do homework or assignments, if I'm not doing any of those things I'm probably at work. My life dosen't have a pause button and sometimes, I wish I could pause for a moment and just relax. But every time I relax or try to pretend that my life has a pause button, I begin to feel guilty because there's a lot of other things I should or could be doing.
You know it's so hard to be at school from 8am - 3:30pm, then take the bus so you're home at 4:30pm and then you'll have to do homework and assignments till about 8pm, then you'll need to be with your family, but you also need to be alone to charge. And you'll also have to fit in your friends. Oh, and don't forget to be at work 3-4 days after school or in the weekend. So I'm trying to do all of these things, and be a good person. But when will I get enough? When will I break down, and not be able to do all of those things, or worse any of those things? When will the older generations understand that we're not fucking lazy, we're exhausted. We're trying to live up to all of these expectations, plus we have to live up to all of these social norms; Shave your armpits, don't cry in front of others - don't show then that you're "weak", be happy - but not about yourself, because then you're selfish. It's sad that this have become our social norms, isn't it? And I don't want to think "Yeah, but that's just how it is". It's not just how it is, we have to do something about this before it gets out of hand. We cannot just sit and watch the world go crazy and complain about it, while doing just nothing about it. That's not how it works, and that's not how we change things. So here we have me complaining about how busy I am, but I still want to chance things I don't like, because my will for a better world is bigger than my will to give up.
So here I am, writing a blogpost, trying to open peoples eyes. Trying to make people see things from my and many other teenagers perspective.
We're not lazy, we're exhausted.

xx Thea

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